Merlin - what happened after Avalon
by Nimueh123
Summary: Merlin's journey in the aftermath of Arthur's death is not an easy one. He has to come to terms with what has happened and then decide where his future and destiny lie, and - will he ever meet Arthur again? A story set post 5.13 with the aim to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
1. Lost and Found

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Merlin or any of the characters appearing in my story. **

* * *

**Lost and Found**

**1. The Aftermath**

Merlin had been sitting motionless against an old gnarly tree at the banks of the Lake of Avalon for hours. He was staring intently at it as if he was counting every ripple of water the slight breeze concocted on its surface. He felt totally numb. He had not thought that the feeling of utter despair and hopelessness he had felt in the Crystal Cave a few days earlier when he had lost his magic could have been superseded by anything.

'With all your magic – you cannot save me'. The words hollowed in his head all over again. Arthur had not realized that there might have been a way – if only he had been able to get him to Avalon earlier. A short flash of anger and frustration went through Merlin. What was the point of having all that magic if you could not save the very person you were destined to protect? Why had he been chosen to suffer the knowledge of a prophecy if there was nothing, nothing at all, that could be done to avert it?

Merlin closed his eyes reliving the previous day with all its pain for the hundredth time. 'I know now all that you have done for me and Camelot'. How much Merlin would have liked to tell Arthur of the many times when he had helped him and even saved him by using magic.

Indeed, there had been a time here at the Lake of Avalon, when Sophie, a daughter of the Sidhe, had almost succeeded in drowning Arthur and he had managed to save the prince just in the last minute by dragging him ashore. Merlin's lips almost twitched into a smile when he remembered Arthur's indignant astonishment when he, covering up for his use of magic, told him that he knocked him out in the woods. How long ago that seemed now! How different his life had been then! Looking back, it seemed so much easier in these early days to make sure that Arthur was all right.

Those were the days before he was told about the prophecy, before the fear of the inevitable started eating at him, before he realized that whatever he might have done in good faith to change the future would only lead to the unthinkable. A slight groan escaped Merlin's mouth. His emotional pain virtually paralyzed his body. 'Thank you' Arthur had thanked him. A lonely tear – all he could muster after releasing all his anguish throughout the dark hours of the previous night - started rolling down Merlin's face. 'Arthur, I wish you could have thanked me for saving your life', he muttered quietly to himself.

Merlin woke up realizing that he must have finally slept a few hours. Heavy clouds cluttered the sky and turned the waters of the lake into dark shades of grey. Arthur, Freya, Balinor, Lancelot, Will….Merlin's heart was filled with so much pain thinking of all those he had loved so much and he had lost – Gaius was right – this was too much for one man to bear. How could he go on living? What purpose had he now that the endgame had been played and he had lost everything?

**2. Another day**

Rain drops softly falling on his cheeks and eyelashes woke Merlin again a few hours later. It was the early hours of the morning and everything around him was serene and peaceful. All he could hear was the rain drops hitting the leaves of the tree above him and a slight wind rustling through the bushes. The water of the lake gently lapped against the stony shore.

Merlin wiped his face and slowly got up. He suddenly realized that his clothes were drenched and that he felt frozen to the bone. Within minutes he had made a fire and warmed his hands on it.

Overwhelming loneliness engulfed him. Campfires… they always had such heartfelt conversations round campfires. With a sharp stab to his heart he remembered the worst eight words he had ever had to say to Arthur: 'There can be no place for magic in Camelot!' He had been so wrong denying himself then. Would Arthur have been saved if he had told him the truth at that moment?

He felt the presence of another being before he saw or heard it. 'Show yourself', he demanded in a commanding voice. A slight movement behind him made him turn round …..'Gwaine!...But….' Merlin's eyes widened slowly when he realized that this was Gwaine, but then it was not.

Gwaine's ghost smiled sadly at Merlin: 'Morgana', he explained.

'So you gave everything for nobility in the end, my friend', Merlin whispered, his heart bleeding even more.

'It is my fault Morgana found out where you were heading'. Gwaine could hardly find the will to say the words.

'Is this why you had to find me?' Merlin enquired.

'I had to see…..'

'Morgana can do no more harm, Gwaine', Merlin said quietly. 'You have not disgraced yourself, nor betrayed your king.'

'Arthur?' Gwaine winced with pain, expecting Merlin's answer.

'Destiny was stronger than anything I could do', Merlin stated it flatly, Anything else would have been too painful.

Gwaine's eyes searched Merlin's face. He noticed the dark circles around his red eyes and saw the grief stricken look that plagued them. 'I am sure, that nobody could have done more for Arthur than you, Merlin'.

'You do not really know me and what I should have done, Gwaine….'

'You are a sorcerer, Merlin, if that is what you mean.'

Merlin looked up in astonishment. 'You knew?'

'Remember, when we saved Gaius from the caves a few years ago? That guard that attacked me was just about to deal me a fatal blow. But he suddenly slipped and fell on his sword. Odd, I thought then. Unnatural, how that happened….

'You never mentioned it…'

'I was not sure enough, but then you insisted on going to that cave a few days ago, not telling what it was you were looking for…it is not like you, Merlin. I knew it must have been something important, too important to give away…. and when I saw you on that hill at the battle, everything became clear in a flash…'

'You recognized me?'

'By putting two and two together, yes', ….Gwaine paused for a moment 'You are ….very powerful, Merlin:'

'And yet, all my magic could not save HIM' Merlin felt a flood of guilt washing over him, now that he had spoken the words he had dreaded to hear aloud. Guilt and despair.

Gwaine slowly looked at Merlin. 'You have been at Arthur's side all these years, Merlin. You have been the most loyal of all of us. We all could see that. If **you** were not able to help Arthur, then there was nothing that could be done. I know that, by my honour as a knight.'

'Merlin swallowed hard, a tiny sigh escaped him, before a barely audible 'Thank you, Gwaine' left his lips.

'No, thank you, Merlin. You have always been a good friend.'

'And you'

'I have to go now. ….to wherever this will lead me…' Gwaine gave a brave cheeky smile.

'Well, there might be a tavern somewhere on the way'. Merlin tried to joke, but felt more tears welling up in his eyes.

'Camelot still needs you, Merlin' Gwaine made sure Merlin took the meaning of his last words in, before he turned towards the lake and slowly vanished into the air

**3. Acceptance**

Merlin had hardly recovered from his meeting with Gwaine when he heard branches broken on the floor in the woodland behind him giving away someone approaching.

'Merlin, it is you ….. I hoped the fire would be yours!' Percival stepped out of the wood and embraced Merlin in relief. 'I have been looking for you all over.'

The short pleasure of seeing his friend again soon gave way to sorrow when Merlin sat down and told Percival what had happened.

'So he is out there now'. Percival's look gazed over the waters of Avalon.

'Yes' said Merlin, swallowing, but not being able to share what Kilgarrah had told him.

'Merlin!' Percival startled Merlin out of his thoughts. 'We must get back to Camelot. The Queen needs to know.'

'I do not think, I am ready yet' Merlin answered slowly. 'You go ahead. I will return soon, but there are things I need to do.'

Percival look at his friends inquiringly, but was wise enough not to ask any further questions. 'We will see you, then?' It was more a question than a statement.

'I will be there, …. I think'. Merlin was lost in thought again and hardly noticed Percival leaving to bring the devastating news to Guinevere.

Kilgarrah had tried to give him hope by imparting his knowledge about the future. His father had told him never to lose himself, never to give up. At the thought of Balinor Merlin suddenly felt warmth wrapping round his heart like a woollen blanket.

His guidance in the Crystal Cave had made him believe again. 'Your journey has just begun.' Remembering Balinor's words felt like balm on his wounds.

'Trust in what you are. Trust in what will be!' He would never forget the serenity and honesty of that moment. Merlin whispered: 'But it is so hard to believe in something that has not come to pass, father. Arthur is gone…..'

'There are no good byes, Emrys'. Merlin could hear his father's words clearly again, uplifting him as they had done before.

'But Arthur?' Merlin's desperation took hold for a short instance. But then Kilgarrah's voice joined Balinor's: 'Young warlock, Arthur is not just a king. He is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion's need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.'

Kilgarrah's and Balinor's words felt strong and true and hope starting filling Merlin's heart

Suddenly Merlin could sense that his years with Arthur had been only the beginning of what was to be his destiny. The beginning of something even bigger, something that he could not comprehend yet.

'You are more than the son of your father. You are a son of the earth, the sea, the sky. Magic is the fabric of this world and you are born of this magic. You are magic itself.' Balinor's words reverberated in his mind all over again.

Arthur would be there, when the time came. It was written in the prophecy and prophecies did come true….

But until then, there was a destiny waiting for him to fulfil. A destiny, that would touch many people of his time and the times ahead. People who were waiting and hoping for his help, his wisdom and yes, his magic.

'You wield a power you cannot yet conceive' Merlin held onto that thought for a moment – ' And I promise, father, that I will use this power for the good of all:'

'As for now I have to get back to Camelot. Gwen needs me and Gaius will be worried...'


	2. The Isle of the Blessed

**4. The Isle of the Blessed**

Merlin left the shores of the lake soon afterwards. His decision to return to Camelot, in the meantime at least, had been made, but he knew that there was one thing he simply had to do first.

A day later Merlin arrived at the spot where Arthur had taken a last rest on their journey to Avalon and where he had killed Morgana. He stopped short before he took a breath and approached the place. It was bathed in sunshine and felt calm and peaceful. Merlin was very aware of birds singing and insects humming. The smell of green and the fragrance of the pine needles he was crushing under his feet were almost overpowering.

She was still there. Pale, serene, more beautiful in death than ever. The forces of nature had left her untouched – as if the creatures of the forest knew to leave a high priestess of the Old Religion in peace. Merlin walked past her and quickly put his hand on the spot where Arthur had been lying only a few days earlier. There was still a trickle of his blood on one the branches. Merlin closed his eyes and willed himself to feel Arthur's presence for a short moment.

'I think you would approve' he murmured.

Reluctantly Merlin retracted his hand after a minute to let that intimate moment go. A familiar noise had caught his attention – one of their horses had returned to the spot where they had been scared away and was nibbling some leaves on the ground.

Merlin slowly lifted Morgana's body onto the horse and started walking. There was only one place where a high priestess should be buried – The Isle of the Blessed.

Merlin's journey passed without any interruptions. It was easy to deter any passing folks with a little bit of magic. The Isle of the Blessed looked as ominous and fateful as ever. Images of Arthur and the knights approaching it so many years ago started invading Merlin's mind. And the face of Lancelot ….

The boat was in the same place as ever, waiting for whoever felt the need to sail the icy waters of the lake to approach the temple of the Old Religion. Merlin carried Morgana into the centre of the ruins and gently put her on the altar stone in the middle.

He immediately knew she was there.

'So you are back, Emrys' her old crackly voice stated.

The Cailleach searched Merlin's face with an air of mild interest.

'What is your purpose here?'

'I have brought you Morgana Pendragon, so she may rest in peace.' Merlin withstood the steely gaze of the Cailleach.

'Ah, Morgana. … It was foretold you would be her destiny and her doom.'

Merlin swallowed. Another prophecy that had come to pass. How easily that prophecy could have become true so many years earlier if he had let Morgana die when she had fallen down that staircase, if he had listened to Kilgarrah that time.

'Dwelling on what may have been will not change the present, Emrys.' The Cailleach whispered, clearly reading Merlin's mind. 'It is your wish I release Morgana's spirit?'

'It is.'

'A noble notion, young warlock. But I cannot give without receiving something in turn.'

Merlin felt anger rising in his chest. 'It is your sacred duty to let a high priestess of the Old Religion come to peace. Do not ask me any favours. You have taken more than you deserve before.'

The Cailleach chuckled. 'You are wiser and more powerful than the last time I met you, Emrys. You know that I have no choice but to grant your wish.'

The old woman bent over Morgana and pointed her staff at Morgana's heart. Merlin could hardly hear the ancient spell she muttered to herself, but he felt the power of it. Gradually Morgana's spirit rose from her body. It was surrounded by a luminous purple glow and looked very graceful. Merlin watched it rise in amazement, to suddenly find Morgana looking at him.

'Why, Merlin?' Morgana's voice was riddled with rejection and hate. 'We are akin. You were the only one that could have saved me'. Tears started rolling down Morgana's cheeks and she sobbed quietly under her breath. Merlin recognized her plight and rage, but Morgana had done too much damage to all those he loved and his own wounds were too fresh for him to feel real compassion.

'I know I must take some of the blame of what happened to you.' Merlin said calmly.

'You took my life away twice'. Morgana was enraged. 'You could have guided me when I found magic, but you abandoned me' Merlin felt the truth of her words, but knew at the same time that he was not responsible for the choices Morgana had made.

'It was my destiny to be at Arthur's side. Helping you was a risk I could not take'

'Arthur!' Morgana almost spit out the name.

'Arthur has built the foundations of a united kingdom and I know that it will not be long before people of magic will live in freedom again. Is this not what we both wanted?' A wave of emotion crashed over Merlin – the words brought home that Arthur would not be there to see the fruits of his labour. His words became more emotional as he carried on.

'Your brother loved you once. He never understood your hatred.'

Morgana tried to smirk, but did not quite manage it. She had gone very quiet.

Merlin caught her gaze. 'Let go of your hate, Morgana. Once you enter the spirit world you will remain the way you are now.' Morgana had composed herself, but her eyes had turned cold and steely when she spoke: 'Hatred is what you have taught me. It is what I have become. I will never forgive you.'

Merlin felt oddly sad. Even in death Morgana was past redemption. 'So be it. Again you choose your path ahead' He sighed but resigned himself to the knowledge that there was nothing else to be done.

'It is time'. The Cailleach appeared out of the shadows of the ruin. She raised her staff and recited the powerful spell that opened the door to the spirit world. Morgana's spirit started floating towards it opening her arms as if she was waiting to be received. Suddenly she stopped and turned around.

'There is one thing…..' Her voice was trembling with emotion. Whatever she had to say was difficult for her. 'There is one thing…' she repeated, clearly forcing herself to finally speak: 'Aithusa'

Merlin blinked. So there was a tiny ray of love left in Morgana's heart after all! 'I will make sure she is alright', he promised serenely.

Morgana acknowledged him with a tiny nod and then moved towards the veil disappearing behind it in a flash.

Merlin was left standing alone at the altar in darkness. The Cailleach was also gone. The air felt crystal clear and freezing cold. The night seemed unnaturally still within the damp walls of the ruin. For a short moment he remained standing in thought. But then he drew himself away from this magical place to return to the boat.

He knew that Camelot was waiting for him.


	3. Camelot

**5. Camelot**

When Merlin caught sight of the many turrets of Camelot, he stopped. He could have arrived a lot sooner, but he had taken his time returning, and so three weeks had passed since he left the Isle of the Blessed.

He had needed some time to think and ponder about what had been and might be. Arthur – the emotional scar was still red raw and he had tried to avoid dwelling on it. Morgana – he felt he had done his duty by giving her a proper burial. That was all. When he thought of her it was with sadness and regret, but still with a healthy portion of anger. Gwen and Gaius - they had been on his mind a lot and what would be when he came back. And then there was a matter that seemed to return to his thoughts again and again. His time in the Crystal Cave. Balinor's words. He had heard them and they had comforted him, even in the dark days immediately after Arthur's death. But he felt, there was more to them than he had so far understood.

He had hoped that a few more days might prepare him better for arriving at the spot where he stood now looking down on the castle that was his home. But as he had expected, it was too much to ask for. A wave of anguish so intense that he actually felt nauseous washed over him. He realized at the bottom of his heart that whatever excuse he had made to himself for not coming back earlier was not the reason for the delay. He was simply scared.

He was scared to walk through the big drawbridge and be engulfed by the familiarity of the archways, turrets and other buildings of the castle. He was scared thinking of climbing the big staircase that led to Arthur's chambers or entering the Council Rooms. Because Merlin could not even fathom what it would feel like that HE would not be there. Knots formed at an alarming rate in Merlin's stomach, but he had made the decision to return and that was what he was going to do.

Merlin had acquired a hooded cloak in a little village he had passed which he now threw over his well known brown jacket. He let the horse off close to the village that lay at the bottom of the castle knowing that it would find its own way back to the castle stable. He knew Camelot inside out and easily found an unobserved way into the inner castle. Merlin speedily climbed the staircase to Gaius's chamber and now stood outside the door hesitating. He finally took courage and opened the door.

As on so many other occasions Gaius was sitting at the big table in the middle of the room bent over book and studying it intently. He was surrounded by lit candles giving him enough light for his research. He sat so calmly there - glasses on his nose just held in place by its hooked ridge and eyebrows slightly raised as usual when he was concentrating. This picture of sheer normality was almost too much to take in. It also spelt 'home' in capital letters. Merlin cleared his throat quietly and Gaius looked up.

'Merlin!' His voice sounded relieved, and also a little surprised. 'I was not sure whether you would return.'

'Nor was I.' Merlin's voice was cracking with emotion.

The old man stood up and walked towards him with open arms. Merlin embraced him readily now being glad of some human comfort after all his lonely days. They stood completely still for quite a while – neither of them needed to talk. They knew each other too well for that.

Eventually they let go of each other and sat down at the table facing each other as they had done every day since Merlin had come to Camelot. Then Merlin told Gaius everything, slowly and with hesitation first, but getting faster and more agitated as he carried on. Gaius just listened and when Merlin had finished silence fell.

'He accepted you for who you are in the end.' Gaius stated and Merlin could tell that he was pleased. 'Yes…..' A small smile started forming on Merlin's lips. It was the first smile in months. He remembered how good it had felt when Arthur had finally acknowledged him and become aware of the many things he had done for him. 'In all those years, you never sought any credit for it.' Merlin could hear the words ringing in his head.

Gaius studied Merlin's face carefully. 'So what will you do now?'

'I have to see Gwen.' Merlin answered.

'Yes. And then?' Gaius had instinctively understood that Merlin was not exactly sure where his future would lie now that Arthur was gone.

'I have to see.' This was an honest answer. It would have been impossible to make any promises at this stage.

'Let's eat and then get some sleep.' Gaius made sure that everything sounded as normal as possible.


	4. The Queen

**6. The Queen**

Merlin walked apprehensively across the courtyard of the palace. He could see people's heads turning and heard them whispering : 'Look, it's him. It's Merlin.' There was the big staircase, there was the spot where they had sat after they had beaten Morgana's second attempt to take Camelot. 'You might have to become king'. Merlin had said then half jokingly. And now….

Merlin walked through the panelled doors and turned left to face the staircase that led up to the royal chambers. How often had he charged up and down them on some errand from Arthur. He had even offered him pickled eggs here at one point! Merlin felt his heart tightening as he climbed the staircase. The big black eagle that graced the landing on top watched the courtyard below as ever. It was here Arthur had caught him once with a bunch of flowers assuming they were for Morgana. It had been funny then, but now the thought of it all, the banter they'd had, it just hurt.

Merlin knew that Gwen would spend the second part of the morning in the Council Chamber, so this is where he was heading. He was very unsure of what to expect. She had guessed his secret, he had heard from Gaius, and had immediately accepted it. 'I am pleased.' She had said to the court physician at the time. Pleased that he was with Arthur then, hoping that he would bring him home. But he had not. How could she accept him now for what he was? How could she not resent him for returning while Arthur was gone?

Merlin walked past the guards and opened the heavy wooden door. Gwen looked thinner and paler since the last time he had seen her. Still, the way she held herself oozed steely confidence and determination. She was mourning, but she did not give the impression of a broken woman. A wave of admiration floated through Merlin.

Just then Gwen raised her head and noticed him standing there. 'Merlin.' She just mouthed his name. 'Merlin!' she repeated more audibly, distinct relief in her voice. She came towards him and squeezed his hands so tightly he almost felt numb. 'Where have you been?' Arthur had used exactly the same words when he had woken after the battle. 'I was so worried about you.'

Her look was compassionate and kind and Merlin felt a huge lump rise to his throat. 'I am sorry, it took me so long.' was all he could muster.

'Tell me.' Gwen's eyes were begging him to share Arthur's story. So Merlin told her everything she needed to know: about Mordred, Morgana, swords forged from a dragon's breath and a lone boat on the Lake of Avalon. He spoke calmly and factually as he knew he must if he did not want to lose his composure.

Once he finished Gwen remained completely still for a while taking it all in.

'And there was nothing YOU could do?' There it was. The question that Merlin had asked himself thousand times since that night. A question he knew the answer to but could not fully comprehend. 'Some lives have been foretold.' Kilgarrah had said, implying that on one, not even the most powerful sorcerer could do anything about fate. Merlin had accepted this but, in the bottom of his heart, he still felt niggling guilt.

Even if Gwen had not seen Merlin's pain and self-doubt written all over his face, she would have sensed his turmoil. He finally raised his eyes to look straight at her: 'No, nothing.' It sounded more like a confession than a statement. Quiet tears were streaming down Merlin's face now. Gwen put her hand on Merlin's shoulder in comfort.

'Then there was nothing that could have been done.' Gwen sounded so sure when she said it that Merlin felt it for the first time, too. She looked at him warmly.

'You shared a bond with Arthur like no other man. Although so different, you were like two sides of the same coin.' Hearing the same expression Kilgarrah had used so many years ago was almost too much for Merlin.

'I know you would have done anything to save him and I am glad that he was with you when he ….. died.' Gwen hesitated speaking the last words, also losing her composure now. Minutes passed as they sat there sharing their sorrow.

Finally Merlin lifted his head. There was something he needed to know now.

'How did you know?'

'Gwen smiled a little through her tears: 'I realized that only something of real importance would have kept you from joining Arthur in the battle, and then I saw you up on that hill, saving us all and then…. Gaius….' Gwen looked at him inquiringly: 'How could you keep such power secret for so long?'

Now it was Merlin's turn to smile a little. 'I had no choice. I needed to be there for Arthur.'

'Not only Arthur, it seems.' Gwen spoke more to herself now than to him. 'Morgana once turned me into a deer. There was a hunt and I was running in fear – and then I saw you and when I looked at you, I had the clearest of feelings that you knew it was me. An arrow hit me and I could not go on for the pain. I have always had this vague memory of someone speaking words in a strange language and me feeling immediately more at ease. And then you were with me the next morning'

Merlin acknowledged her story with a slight nod.

'How many more things have you done for us, Merlin, when we did not even know?'

'That was my job, Gwen.' Merlin answered humbly.

'Thank you.' Gwen meant it, just like Arthur had. Relief and the joy of being accepted for who he was overwhelmed Merlin. It felt like a huge mountain rolling off his shoulders and crumbling on the earth in dust. That his friend had not resented him – for what he was and what had happened – meant more to Merlin than he could express. He could not help but embrace her, queen or not, to show his appreciation.

'You are a fair and just queen.' He said.

'A queen that could do with the help of a wise sorcerer.' Gwen smiled, hope in her eyes.


	5. The girl

**7. The girl**

So Merlin decided to stay in Camelot – at least in the meantime. He owed it to Gwen and to Arthur. On how many occasions when Arthur had been in serious danger had he asked Merlin to look after Gwen should he not return. The least Merlin could do for his friend now was to stay true to his word.

But it was not easy. Memories rained down on Merlin every time he walked through the castle. 'Merlin, clean my chain mail.' 'Don't forget the flowers' 'Get the horses ready, we are leaving at sunrise' It was the little everyday things he remembered on every step, in every corridor, in every room. Sometimes it almost suffocated him.

On days like that he ventured out into the forest where the peace and tranquillity of nature gave him comfort. He felt at one with the earth, the wind, the rain and the sky. When he breathed the fragrant forest air, he could feel the magic of all living things around him vibrating in his own inner self. It invigorated him, but mostly it calmed him and drowned the sorrow in his heart.

It had been one of those bad days where he needed to escape from his pain. He was lying in a beautiful spot overlooking the hills in the north of Camelot and tried to empty his head of all the dark thoughts that were hounding him when he suddenly heard shouting and screaming down below. Dogs were barking and it sounded like there were some hunters about. 'Odd.' It was only the knights who had the right to hunt so close to Camelot.

Merlin was making his way down the hill when he heard someone approaching. Just as he turned a girl came stumbling out of the thicket of the bushes. Her thin dirty face was scratched all over and some of the bigger wounds were bleeding. Her blue eyes were wide with fear and she was trembling all over. Merlin just managed to catch her before she fell. She caught his gaze and clung to him like a little child might to a mother: 'Help me!', was all she could say. Then she fainted.

Merlin counted five men that shortly appeared after her. Three had sniffer dogs on leashes. 'She must be here: She can't have gone far.' said a tall brute of a man who seemed to be the leader. 'We are going to lose our money.' complained one of his rough-looking companions. Merlin's eyes turned golden and suddenly the dogs seemed to pick up a scent in the opposite direction. The men followed and soon they were out of sight.

'She is very weak, Merlin' Gaius said. The old physician had given her a sleeping draft and treated the wounds on her body. She was a young woman, no more than twenty. Her long dark hair framed a delicate pretty face. 'I wonder who she is and why she was hunted like that.' Merlin's frowned disapprovingly. 'Why would anyone want to hurt a girl like that?' Her fragility reminded him of Freya.

She woke the next day, still pale and tired. 'I am feeling a lot better now' she thanked Gaius just as Merlin returned from an errand. 'You saved me.' She smiled at him and Merlin suddenly felt a little lighter round his heart. 'I' am glad of it' Merlin replied kindly. 'I am Merlin' 'Niniane.' She introduced herself.

'Why were these men following you? It seems they were trying to catch you.' Gaius asked directly.

Niniane's bright mood immediately changed. She resembled a scared deer again. 'I cannot say….' 'Just leave her for now.' Merlin requested. 'You are safe here, Niniane.'

'There is something about her, Gaius.' he said later at the dinner table. 'I can feel it.' Gaius just lifted his left eyebrow and muttered: This sounds familiar….'

The next day Gwen had asked Merlin to sit in with her on a Council Meeting. Merlin always felt extremely awkward when he attended them. Not only was his mind constantly distracted by thinking about past memories, but Gwen had made him sit at the round table with her and the knights. He did not feel comfortable with that at all. What was worse he was not sure that the knights did either.

Leon, Percival and all the other knights had acknowledged that a powerful sorcerer had saved them in the battle of Camlan and he heard them often talking about that night. But they were still unaware that it had been him letting lightning rain upon the Saxons and chase them into flight. Without Arthur and Gwaine Merlin's path did not cross the one of the other knights very often any more. Of course there was the occasional banter, but times had changed and they had moved on. They all had higher responsibilities in the kingdom and Merlin could feel them wondering why Gwen had invited him to her side. Particularly as she was dealing with the everyday affairs of Camelot pretty efficiently herself.

Merlin suffered through the affairs of the meeting, giving a little bit of advice here and there, but if he was honest, he was bored. His mind drifted back to the time when he had just saved Arthur from an assassin trying to shoot him from the balcony. That had been a close call…

'Merlin' Gwen brought him back into reality. 'Please walk with me'. The meeting had apparently finished and Gwen was heading back to her quarters.

'I hear you saved a girl in the woods yesterday?' she questioned.

'Do we know anything about her?

'Not yet, my lady' Merlin answered dutifully.

'Stop that, Merlin.' He could hear that Gwen was annoyed. 'You are not my servant'

'I would like to know more about her. As long we do not know her intentions I want you to be careful.'

'She is just a young woman,' Merlin dismissed her fear and then responded to her scolding look: 'I will let you know as soon as I find something out.'

Just as Merlin entered Gaius's chamber he heard a big clank, like something breaking. He rushed in to find Niniane covered in water and a broken jug just next to her bed.

'Where is Gaius? How did you get that heavy jug?'

Niniane was trembling all over again. 'I needed water and it broke'

'Yes, but that heavy jug was over there, near the stove!' Merlin replied 'and I can see that you did not get up to fetch it.'

Niniane started crying now: 'Please do not hurt me. Please don't tell the Queen. She will have me executed.'

Merlin immediately understood. She had magic.


	6. Magic

**8. Magic**

'Then they decided to take me to Camelot in the hope for a reward.' Niniane finished her story. Merlin sighed. It all sounded so familiar.

Niniane had grown up in a small village and, like him, been born with magic. Her parents had not understood her gift and they had not been able to guide her. She had always remained an outsider for being different. But as she got older people grew extremely suspicious of her. Strange things often took place when she was around. Just like Morgana at the beginning Niniane could not really control her magic. Magical things sometimes just happened and to her bad luck the last time the whole village had witnessed it. The elders had decided there and then to take her to Camelot where sorcerers had been dealt with according to the laws for so many years.

The horror on her face for being discovered, and out of all places in Camelot, tugged at Merlin's heart. Why was it that people with magic had to suffer so much?

'Will you tell the Queen?' It was obvious she was completely petrified.

Merlin looked at her in thought. It was a question he could not answer off-hand. It had been eight months now since his return to Camelot and that conversation about magic with Gwen. She had been happy about it then and acknowledged him for doing so much good with it.

Gwen had had her fair share of bad experiences with magic – Her father had been executed on suspicion of being a sorcerer and she had suffered badly at the hands of Morgana a few times. If Merlin considered it carefully, she had seen both sides of magic – the good and the bad. But the ban on magic in the kingdom was still upheld. He had hoped that the events at Camlan might have caused a change It pained him to remember that Gwen had never spoken of magic again since.

'You saved me before. Spare my life, please!'

Before he knew it Merlin cupped his hands together, blew gently into the hollow, whispered some quiet words and then opened them again. Tiny flecks of dust were turning and twisting and then they suddenly bundled together in the shape of a singing bird. Niniane stared at it, astonishment and awe written all over her face. 'You have magic!' She whispered.

'I do' Merlin said. 'And we will keep yours secret from the queen for a little bit longer.' Gwen would have to be told of course, just not …yet.

Gaius had not been pleased: 'Gwen will understand, Merlin' he said shaking his head. But he sensed the reason behind Merlin's hesitation and let him be.

In the following days Niniane managed to secure a room above the tavern in turn for giving a hand with the rooms and the meals. But above all she needed teaching and, feeling utterly unneeded in the castle, Merlin was happy to take on the task. They went on frequent walks to the forest where she could practice magic freely without the fear of being discovered.

Niniane was a good pupil and she learned quickly. She managed to memorize the trickiest spells in no time and her rapid progress surprised Merlin again and again. He felt happy seeing her revel in her success and it was pure joy to let the magic flow and be himself. These were moments when there was no hiding, no pretending, no justifying for who they were. For Merlin these were moments of healing and mending.

For the first time since Arthur's death Merlin felt alive again. The pain would always be there, but it had eased. He had come to fully accept that destiny was not to be beaten by anything, not even by the most powerful magic. He still felt Arthur's presence wherever he went, but he had come to the point where he smiled more often when he was thinking about their banter and the good times they'd had. And then, at the back of his mind,….. there was always the prophecy of the 'Once and Future King'.

'Merlin! Look at this!' Niniane shouted excitedly. A little bird had fallen out of its nest and once the girl had whispered the right spell it lifted from the ground and floated slowly back into its nest up in the tree. She smiled with delight.

'You have saved my life in so many ways.' They were sitting on the banks of a small stream that bubbled along happily. Niniane turned and looked at him earnestly. She raised her hand to gently stroke his cheek. Merlin held his breath as Freya's face flashed past him. 'Courage, Merlin,' he heard her whisper in his mind. He took Ninane's hand and pulled her close. 'I think it is you who saved me.' he replied.

Gwen had sent for Merlin the same afternoon.

'Merlin, I have a favour to ask.' Nervously Merlin waited for what was to come.

'It has been almost a year…' She did not need to add what anniversary she meant.

'I would like to go to the Lake of Avalon that day…..Will you go with me?'

They journeyed to the Lake of Avalon two days later. It had been hard to convince Leon that they did not need any knightly protection. But the kingdom had been at peace for a year with no signs of trouble. So he eventually gave in to Gwen's wishes.

It was as if time had stood still. The Lake, the island in the middle, the tower on top of it. Birds singing, insects humming, a slight breeze. Seeing and feeling it ripped Merlin's heart open one more time. 'Arthur, where are you?' he ached. But there was only silence.

Gwen had picked a small bunch of woodland flowers, not unlike the many bunches Arthur used to pick for her when he came back from a trip or a hunting session. She placed it at the banks of the lake and sat down on its stony shore gazing over the water as if she could see Arthur on the other side.

It was a shared moment of memories and love.

'Merlin? Tell me about the girl you rescued.' They were on their way back to Camelot. Merlin almost startled his horse by pulling its rein too harshly.

'She has fully recovered.' He answered meekly.

'I know that' Gwen sounded slightly impatient. 'I hear you are spending a lot of time with her', she was definitely teasing now.

'Gwen….' Merlin started, realizing that the moment of truth had come.

But before he could say anything they heard horses approaching in gallop.

'My lady! My lady!' It was Leon and Percival with three other knights.

'We have come to escort you home. There has been unrest in border villages all over the kingdom. They say that magic is involved.'


	7. The curse

**9. The curse**

Gaius was just crossing the courtyard of the palace when the party came charging through the drawbridge. It was evident by their urgency that something was afoot. Gaius could read Merlin's face like a book and he did not like what he saw there now.

It had warmed his heart in the last few weeks to see Merlin laughing and smiling again. It had taken him long enough to come at least somewhat to terms with Arthur's death. Niniane had been good for him, there was no doubt. As Merlin had been good for her. He could not have prescribed a better medicine to heal a wounded soul. But now there seemed trouble to be brewing.

Merlin's mind had been racing with possibilities all the way back to the castle.

What was happening? Why was it happening now? What forces of dark magic wanted to damage Camelot yet again? The thought of people he loved getting hurt again was unbearable. He needed to find out more….

Apparently most villages lying right on the border of the kingdom had been affected. 'The outbreak spans like a big circle around Camelot.' Percival pointed out looking at the map in front of them.

'What are the reports saying?'

'It seems that a strange kind of disease took the lives a few people in each village.'

'What kind of disease?'

Percvial stopped short and then explained: 'People fall ill from one minute to the next. They cannot hear or see. They are locked in their bodies unable to speak. Their skin turns grey and scaly as the flesh underneath seems to evaporate under the skin. Death is but a relief from the agony they suffer. At the end all that there is left of them is leathery skin, tightly clinging to the bones of their skeleton.'

Gwen looked horrified. 'Is this a disease you have heard of, Gaius?'

'From what I hear this is not an illness of the natural world, my lady.'

'So it must be magic.' Gwen came to the conclusion unwillingly.

'People are very scared, my lady. There are rumours of dark magic trying to destroy Camelot' Percival added.

Gwen frowned and said hesitatingly. 'Dark magi… I thought this was all behind us'

'We will not know for sure until we see, my lady' Gaius intercepted.

Gwen pondered for a moment and then said:

'Gaius, will you go to one of the villages and see for yourself?

'Of course, my lady.'

'Percival. Take three men and go with Gaius.'

'Yes, my lady.' Percival replied.

Merlin exchanged a glance with Gwen: 'I will also go.' He said simply.

It was not difficult to assess the situation once Gaius had examined the bodies of the deceased. They had definitely died at the hand of magic. The mood in the village they had visited was one of suspicion and panic. The inexplicable always instills fear and people felt that they could trust no one.

'We need to find out what causes this and how it is passed on.' Merlin and Gaius had returned swiftly as they knew that their research was one of urgency. Niniane had also appeared and offered her help. She had never experienced the evil of magic at such close range and was mortified that magic should be abused like this.

They sifted through magical works large and small for hours, their eyes tiring in the soft candle light as time went on.

'I wonder,' said Merlin suddenly ' where the illness struck first time?' And off he went to find out. He came back with an air of excitement not long after that.

He put a map of Camelot on the table 'The disease turned up here' and pointed to the small village of Badnor in the northern border country.

It was the village closest to the sacred cave where the disir resided.

'Indeed!' Gaius He pulled out a very large copy of a magical book entitled: 'Curses of the Old Religion' and within minutes he had spotted the symptoms that they had encountered.

'The Curse of Aberration ' He read out loudly. 'is a curse where a sorcerer is empowered by the disir to pass on a deadly disease to any person they touch.'

Merlin's heart sank. That trip to the disir did not seem that long ago. It had been that fateful day when Arthur had to choose where his future would lie. Merlin tried not to think of their conversation at the fireside. How many times had he asked himself what would have been if he had advised Arthur differently then.

'If you want to save all that you hold dear, if you want to save your kingdom, embrace the old religion.' The disir had insisted. 'This is the last chance to save all that is dear to you. It will not come again.' But Arthur had rejected the Old Religion. 'You have sealed your fate and that of your kingdom' had been the last words of the disir. Arthur's death had been foreshadowed then, Merlin could see that now. But as it seemed the disir were now making sure that Arthur's kingdom and all that had been close to his heart would also fall.

'But how can we stop this?' Niniane asked anxiously.

'It can only be stopped if the bearer of the curse is struck dead by a person true of heart and mind.' Merlin looked up. 'Well, that should be easy..' His words were dripping with sarcasm. 'Once we have found the sorcerer who has been spreading this terrible curse.' It seemed like a hopeless task.

The matter was discussed the following day at the round table.

'My lady, reports have it that the disease is coming closer to Camelot every day.' Leon had just returned from the last patrol. 'It is like a noose closing round the neck of Camelot' he added very quietly.

To make matters worse a guard burst into the room at this moment.

'What is it?' asked Gwen.

'My lady, there are people gathering everywhere moving towards the castle.'

'How many?'

'There must be one or two hundred, my lady'…..the guard hesitated.

'Yes' Gwen had no patience for waiting.

'People say that they are all sorcerers.'

Everybody went silent.

'My lady,' Percival finally spoke. 'It seems we need a sorcerer that can help us'

The other knights looked up in astonishment.

'There was one that saved us all before….' he added.

Leon was clearly not happy with this 'How can we trust any sorcerer after what Morgana did to this kingdom?'

Gwen looked straight at Merlin. He held her gaze, but did not speak.

'Let me consider this. I'll see if there is anything I can do.' Her words seemed rather mysterious to some of the knights.

Gaius and Merlin had just left the chamber when an urgent call came for the old physician. 'I'll come with you Gaius.' Merlin offered kindly. 'it is too dangerous to wonder the streets of Camelot alone.'

Gwen knew that he had to speak to Merlin alone before she decided on any further action and so she made her way to Gaius's chamber not long after the council meeting.

She just opened the door in time to witness Niniane's eyes turn golden to change a potion from green to purple.

'Guards!' There was no way of escape for the girl.


	8. The law

**10. The law**

Merlin was summoned to the queen's chambers immediately. His heart and mind were racing – the news that a witch had been arrested had spread quickly through the palace of Camelot. There was an array of emotions overwhelming him: aching worry for Niniane and what she might go through, guilt for not having told Gwen sooner and acute concern at the dire situation they were finding themselves in.

Gwen stood lost in thought at the window when Merlin entered her room.

'I know how much you loved Arthur, Merlin.' She started. Merlin looked up surprised. This was not the conversation he had been expecting.

'But in all those years, you never told him who you really were.' She questioned.

'I did tell him in the end.' Merlin turned very pale thinking back to this moment that had marked the beginning of their last journey together. He had never told Gwen what had happened exactly between the two of them in those last few days.

'Yes.' She hesitated.

Merlin could sense what she wanted to know.

'He told me that he wanted me to always be me in the end.' His voice was hoarse with pain.

A tiny smile appeared on Gwen's lips as if she had expected the answer.

'Why did you keep your magic secret?'

'I did not want to put Arthur into a position in which he would have to decide between the law and a friend,' was the quiet response.

'Is this why you kept Niniane's magic from me?' She sounded slightly hurt now.

'I am sorry Gwen… I know I should have …..' Merlin did not quite finish the sentence. 'I did not want to take the risk of hurting her.'

'Because of the law.' Gwen looked up.

'The law has caused a lot of suffering to so many innocent people who happened to have magic. They died for who they were.' He paused and then continued: 'I have had to lie to Arthur, you and everyone for all those years because of the law. I had to deny myself for so long just to survive. A life is no life until you can be who you really are.' Merlin spoke rapidly now and full of emotion. Magic had been oppressed for so long. When he stopped he faced her and looked directly into her eyes.

'What good has this law ever done, Gwen?'

'Many people have also suffered through magic, Merlin.' She replied quietly. 'Morgana and the likes of her are responsible for much misery. That's why Arthur upheld the law after Uther died. I was afraid to change what has been one of the most fundamental laws of Camelot for almost 30 years.'

She stopped and then continued 'And look at the threat that we are facing by magic now – a killing curse and those sorcerers out there….. ' She looked tired and worried.

'And then I discover a young witch right at my doorstep.'

Merlin blushed as he could see her point.

'I believe her to be completely innocent.' His whole heart was in the sentence.

He swallowed. He had seen Gwen taking tough decisions as a queen before and he did not want to consider what he might have to do if a sentence was passed.

Gwen had watched Merlin intently. 'You would save her?'

Merlin smiled 'You really know me well, Gwen.' and added very seriously: 'I would have no choice.'

'And we would have no way of stopping you.' Gwen just stated a fact.

Merlin shrugged his shoulders in acknowledgement.

Gwen had made up her mind.

'There is one thing I know above all others, Merlin. I trust you. I always have - right from that first day, when you defied Arthur out there.' Funny, she should mention that day – Merlin pushed the thought away.

'And, I also know that I need you.' Merlin understood that it was the sorcerer she was looking for. 'Now, today, more than ever. No one but you can find out what these sorcerers' intentions are.'

Merlin moved closer to her. 'I promised Arthur I would look after you.'

'Thank you.' Gwen took his hand and squeezed it.

'And Niniane?' There was hesitation in his voice.

'Take her with you. I put her into your care.'

It was Merlin's turn to thank his queen now.

'I will go at sunrise.' He assured her. 'And Gwen? Remember – the curse is passed on by touch. Keep away from people – don't let anyone get near you…'

'I promise' was the answer.

He was heading towards the door when Gwen called him again:

'Merlin, …it is time Camelot knows who that sorcerer on the hill was.'


	9. Betrayal

**11. Betrayal**

She just sat there, waiting. If anything she looked confident and proud. She clearly had not shed any tears nor was she anxious or worried. What gave her the strength and confidence to remain so calm and measured? Merlin had watched Niniane for a moment before he stepped closer. Warmth and relief flooded his heart.

She looked up: 'I knew you would come.' Merlin was touched by her honesty and trust. 'The queen let me go?' She questioned further. 'You are in my care.' Merlin answered. 'Well, that is a sacrifice.' She smiled at him when she said it. He just embraced her and the kiss that followed was long overdue. She had made him feel again, returned him to life and reminded him of the joys of magic…. and she had filled the void he had been consumed with after Arthur's death with a little bit of hope. He owed her more than she could possibly imagine.

He was packing some things for his journey only moments later. 'You are not going into a camp of sorcerers when you have no idea what they actually have in mind?' Gaius was not happy. At the same time this was the only way of finding out their intentions. He could do nothing else but approve of Merlin's plan.

Merlin and Niniane found the camp quite easily. The sorcerers obviously did not try to hide where they were. The watch had admitted them after ensuring that they had magic. 'We'll take you to our spokesman.' He said. Merlin glanced at the men and women walking through the camp. They were no fighters or warriors – that was for sure, just people with magic. Some had even brought their children.

'Merlin!' A familiar voice greeted them.

'Gilli !' Merlin recognized the young man who had wanted to kill Uther by magic in a tournament so many years ago immediately. He had been able to persuade him then that abusing magic for a little bit of glory was not the right path to take.

'I have been expecting you.' Gilli said. 'Indeed, I had hoped that you would come.'

'So what is all this?' Merlin asked directly.

Gilli took a long breath. 'People do not want to live in fear any more. They do not want to be persecuted for being who they are any more. They just want to live in peace like anyone else.' Gilli sounded passionate about his cause. 'When the curse struck it was clear that dark magic was at work. But we saw it as a chance. A chance to offer help to the queen and show her that not all magic is evil.'

He looked at Merlin: 'We have come to make peace with the queen and offer our help in the fight against the curse. We will offer it in exchange for the ban on magic to fall.'

Merlin was stunned. The people out there seemed to have no ill intent at all. They simply wanted to try to achieve what he had dreamed of all along.

'There is only one way to stop the curse.' Merlin explained. 'We must find the sorcerer who is passing it on.'

'I see.' Gilli nodded his head and turning.

He did not realize that Niniane had noticed a slight smile playing around his lips.

'I would like to see the queen.' He continued. 'But I want to enter the castle peacefully. Can you help?'

'That should not be a problem.' Merlin conceded.

Leon and Percival were up in arms. The queen had informed them that she was to meet a small delegation of sorcerers later in the day. 'My lady. Forgive me. But this is extremely irresponsible.' Leon was in turmoil. He could not believe that Gwen would do anything so ….stupid.

'Leon. Calm yourself.' Gwen smiled at her most faithful knight.

'Have no fear. I do not go into this meeting unprotected.' Leon looked up in surprise. 'The sorcerer that saved us before…. He will look after me.'

Leon and Percival exchanged a glance. 'Are you sure you can trust him?' Leon asked. 'I am.' The knights knew that Gwen had made her decision.

Gwen was waiting in the Great Hall. Gaius, Merlin and Niniane were at her side. The knights had lined the hall with guards. Leon and Percival were waiting for the delegation so they could close in behind them. 'Where is that sorcerer Gwen spoke about?' Percival whispered. Leon just raised his eyebrows, his hand ready to pull his sword.

Gilli entered the hall, an old man and a young boy behind him.

'Queen Guinevere' He bowed.

'State your affairs.' Gwen came straight to the point.

Gilli repeated more or less what he had told Merlin the day before. Then he waited for a reply. Gwen thought for a moment.

'If your intentions are true, I will readily accept your offer.' There were gasps of horror amongst the guards. Leon and Percival had turned rather pale.

'Then let me present a wild rose – a symbol of peace and justice and a token of our truth.' Gilli approached her confidently. He kneeled before her and was about to hand her the rose when…..

Niniane standing closest to Gwen saw a strange glow emerging from his hands. When he lifted them to present the flower over it became obvious.

Everything happened very quickly then– almost simultaneously.

Niniane screamed: 'It's him' and raised her hand shouting a spell. Gilli was thrown off-balance but still trying to get to Gwen. Leon jumped in to drag her out of danger. But Gilli did not give up that easily. He stumbled after her aiming to touch her, grabbing in desperation whatever he could. Merlin let out a roar of anger and cited a spell which brought Gilli down by paralyzing him. Percival came up behind the young man and put his sword through him almost at the same time.

Gaius uttered a spell to knock the old man that had come with Gilli off his feet. Merlin, in intuition, raised his hand to lift the man up leaving him afloat and unable to move in mid air. The young boy had run as soon as the commotion started and in confusion the guards were not quick enough to stop him.

Gilli was lying on the floor of the Great Hall, his blood spilling over the panelled floor.

'Why, Gilli?' was all Merlin mustered to say.

'The disir have a way of persuading people.' he stammered. 'The law mocks us.' He was coughing up blood when he continued.

'I always wanted to be someone …. they gave me the chance to do that… I wanted to make a difference.' Then his eyes broke and his breath left him.

'The temptation of power.' Merlin felt sad and bitter. How could Gilli betray him and all those people hoping for a better future like this? There was a long moment of silence.

'You saved my life!' Gwen walked up to Niniane, and being Gwen, embraced the young women warmly. 'How did you know?'

Niniane had been suspicious of Gilli after what she had witnessed in the camp and she had watched him closely. Only to be proved right in the end.

Merlin stood up slowly and was greeted by looks of utter confusion by Leon and Percival. 'You… are the sorcerer.' Leon kept shaking his head.

'You have magic.' Percival found it beyond comprehension. 'How is it possible?'

Merlin put his hand on Leon's shoulder and smiled. 'I was born with it'. It was a relief that he could finally say it without worrying about any consequences.

The old man was released from his lofty prison and was questioned immediately.

'Emrys' He sank on his knees in front of Merlin. 'I had no idea. You must believe me.' Merlin knew he was genuine. He had seen the people in the camp. They had put his trust in Gilli just like him.

A guard came running into the hall in this second.

'My lady! The sorcerers! They are all heading for Camelot!'


	10. The proclamation

**12. The proclamation**

The boy had swiftly returned to the camp and delivered the news that Gilli had been killed by the queen's men. Anger and outrage at the injustice of the queen swept through the camp. 'If she wants a fight, then this is what we'll do!', shouted a young man and soon the whole camp was erupting with cries for retribution. 'We will not live in fear anymore, we'd rather die!' And so they marched on to the castle of Camelot.

'Merlin!' Gwen looked at him in search for help. 'Even the best knights of the kingdom cannot stand up to the magic of so many.'

Merlin had been weighing up their options. There was no doubt that fighting a force of magic that big was pointless. There would be many deaths on each side and the hatred that would inevitably follow would forbid any reconciliation in the future. He could not allow that to happen.

'Open the doors of the citadel. Let them come into the courtyard and then lock the gates behind them.'

Leon and Percival shouted almost in unison: 'My lady!' This was against any rules of warfare they had ever come across. Allowing the enemy to come right into the centre of the palace meant exposing the heart of Camelot. Leon eyed Merlin with slight suspicion: 'This will be the downfall of all of us.'

'Trust him, Leon.' Gwen's voice was steady and her advice was clear.

The crowd emerged only seconds later pushing its way past guards and knights. Men and women of all ages came barging into the courtyard. Angry shouting and spiteful fury was rife in the air. It took only seconds for someone to notice the gates had been closed behind them. Some men were turning towards the gate with the intention of blasting it open when Merlin appeared on the balcony.

His presence was felt to an extent that people stopped and looked up noticing him above. 'Who is it?' Some muttered under their breath.

Merlin raised his staff and cited a spell with a thundery voice. A luminous transparent mist slowly descended onto the crowd. It seemed to vibrate with magic and as it fell it calmed their mood. The anger that had filled their heart dwindled away and men and women just stood in wonderment watching the beauty of the magical veil that sparkled and twinkled around them.

'Emrys!' A young man had made the connection. 'It's Emrys.!'

Most people with magic had heard that name before. The prophecy that Emrys would finally bring peace to their kind was well known and often told amongst those who cared for it. Some fell onto their knees in reverence, others bowed their head, and there were those who simply could not take their eyes off the renowned sorcerer.

'You came here in anger.' Merlin started to speak and his voice was magnified tenfold by every droplet of mist. 'But what you look for is peace.' He saw many of them nodding.

'The queen killed one of our own!' shouted one woman. 'She has to pay!'

'Gilli betrayed all of us. He was the bearer of the curse and tried to kill the queen.' Merlin set the matter straight calmly. Expressions of astonishment and horror went through the crowd.

'But where is my husband, Kieron? It was the wife of the old man who had come to the Great Hall with Gilli. 'I am here.' A voice came from one of the archways as the man stepped into the light. 'It is true what Emrys says.'

'Magic will never be set free if you fight today.' Merlin continued.

'We have waited too long to lead the lives we deserve!' Another young man tried to rile the crowd.

'Use your magic against Camelot now and it is me you have to fight.' There was underlying threat in Merlin's voice when he spoke.

'You would strike against your own kind?' shouted the same sorcerer.

'I will fight for what I believe to be right. The queen is just and she has a good heart. She will listen to your plight. I promise it.'

Kieron stepped forward now. 'We should do as Emrys asks.'

His comment was met with approval from many. 'What will you have us do?'

Merlin asked them to leave in peace and return to the castle in the morning. A short discussion followed amongst the sorcerers, but the majority had already made up their minds. And as they left the mist that had surrounded them started to disperse.

'Are you sure this is the right thing to do?' Gwen was still somewhat uncertain about what she was going to do as she could not grasp what consequences it would have.

'I'm sure:' Merlin encouraged her.

When she walked out on to the balcony he followed closely behind her in support. The courtyard was packed solid. Every little space seemed to be filled with a person. The same people who had tried to take over Camelot the previous night now gathered harmoniously and expectantly. And they had been joined by many other inhabitants of the kingdom. Rumours that something monumental might happen had spread like wildfire.

Gaius, Niniane and all the knights were standing on the big staircase also present waiting in anticipation.

'Citizens of Camelot!.' Gwen started. It fell so quiet people could hear a tiny bird on one of the turrets whistling its little tune.

'Camelot has long prided itself as a force against the evils of magic.' Some sorcerers looked up slightly alarmed at her words. 'and this kingdom has suffered many times by the hand of dark sorcery. But without our knowledge magic has also protected this kingdom and helped it prosper. The sorcerer who was responsible for this and who saved so many of us in the battle of Camlan is standing here right next to me.'

The ordinary folk gasped in surprise as they realized she was talking about Merlin and whispers went through the audience. 'How can it be? 'He was Arthur's servant…!' 'Arthur must have accepted him'…..

'I owe my life to him and to the witch who saved me yesterday.' Gwen nodded in Niniane's direction. All eyes were resting on the young woman now. 'The events of last night could have cost many lives.' Gwen was addressing the men and women with magic now. 'But then you chose peace rather than war and this has turned into a chance for us to call a truth.'

Gwen's voice echoed from the walls of the palace.

'Magic itself is neither good nor evil. It is the person who wields it that makes it so.'

There were a lot of nods going round the courtyard.

'So I proclaim that henceforth people of magic will be accepted for who they are. As long as they abide by the rules set up by the court of Camelot they can live freely in this kingdom without fear of persecution.'

A little silence followed as people took in the enormity of the proclamation. Then a huge cheer went up as sorcerers embraced each other in delight. Their joy and happiness infected everyone around them and it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off the kingdom.

Merlin felt tears welling up. He could hardly believe that this day had finally come. It was indeed momentous. Camelot had embraced magic. The unimaginable had happened. None of his kind would ever have to live in fear again. How much would he have liked to share this glorious moment with Arthur. How much would he have liked to hear his voice and see him amongst his people smiling. Merlin's heart was full of joy and pride, but it was tinged with sorrow.

He watched the crowds celebrating. They seemed to sense that this was the beginning of a new era, an era of peace and prosperity and of many good things to come. As he stood in silence he knew he had to make decisions of his own, now that another prophecy had come to pass.


	11. Another life

**13. Another life**

'You are leaving, aren't you?' Gaius said in a matter of fact tone.

Merlin looked at the old man and smiled.

'Can you read minds now, too?' He asked jokingly. Of course, Gaius was right. He had always been able to read his mood and sense his intentions.

It was a month after the proclamation. Merlin could not remember a time where there had been an atmosphere of so much promise and optimism in the air. Camelot was buzzing with life. Sorcerers mingled with common folk, setting up new businesses and using magic to make everyday life easier for everyone and people experienced that magic could be very beneficial for all of them indeed.

Where ever he went people smiled at him, thanking him for what he had done. He had never felt so acknowledged and loved before. Many showed their reverence by bowing their heads when he passed by and some gazed at him in respect and awe.

Yet, he knew his time in Camelot had come to an end. As much as he loved the only place he had ever really felt at home, it was time to move on. His task here was done. He had grown uneasy about what lay ahead in the future. There was something out there waiting for him and he needed to find out what it was.

'Will we see you again?' Gwen asked tearfully when Merlin came to say his good byes. She had hoped until the last-minute that he might change his mind.

'I will always be there if you need me.' Merlin embraced her and they both knew that their friendship and the bond they shared through Arthur would never be broken.

He had not told Niniane. He could not. He could not face her simply because his feelings would give him away. He did not want to be parted from her, in fact the thought of not having her around smiling, laughing and cheering him up hurt so much, he forbid himself thinking about it. But he also did not know where he was going and what would happen. It was all too…uncertain. This was not something he would thrust upon her knowing that she would cast any common sense aside to be with him. She was safe here in Camelot now. He had written a letter to her…..explaining and pleading for understanding. Still, his conscience was heavy when he packed his things and tied them to the saddle of his horse one early morning.

He had kept his good-bye to Gaius short. A heartfelt hug was all that was needed. 'I will see you again.' Merlin promised quietly, as he left. 'Good bye, my son.' Gaius was visibly moved but he tried to be strong as he understood why Merlin had to go.

One last look back on Camelot and then the forest swallowed him.

He had made a campfire that first evening enjoying the mellow summer night and the plethora of sparkling stars up in the night sky. As always, feeling at one with nature and all its glory provided comfort and contentment.

He sensed the movement more than he could hear it – there was someone out there. Fully alert he closed his eyes pretending to sleep.

'Sneaking out like a thief before the light of day?' A furious voice startled him from behind a second later.

Niniane.

She threw a piece of paper at his face. It was his letter.

'Coward.' Her eyes were glowing with fury. 'How could you do this to me?'

Merlin tried to explain, but she was too enraged to really listen.

'You think your magic entitles you to take the liberty of deciding my fate for me, oh powerful sorcerer!.' He swallowed the angry sarcasm of the insult, but the hurt in her eyes cut through him like a knife.

'I will choose my own destiny as I wish.' Her voice was faltering now, her eyes imploring him not to leave her behind.

Merlin could not help himself any longer. Forgetting all good intentions he simply walked up to her and placed his lips on hers.

'Forgive me.' He mumbled and as they sank onto his make-shift bed he was overcome by gratitude, tenderness and the power of love. 'Destiny can wait.' He thought defiantly before he lost himself in blissful happiness.

The years that followed were good ones. In fact when Merlin looked back upon them later in his life he considered them to be one of the happiest. They had found a small derelict cottage in the forest of Ascetir that they made their home. There they lead a simple life dedicated to the study of magic and medicinal herbs. Niniane became very expert in creating new potent remedies for many a troublesome ailment. Her fame for being able to treat even the most unusual illnesses spread very quickly and brought many people from close and afar looking for medical advice to their cottage.

Merlin had never known such peace of heart and mind and his magical powers blossomed under the solace of their relationship. He spent many hours studying books of magic and works of the Old Religion deepening his understanding of the magical universe and the astonishing powers of sorcery. People came to him if they sought advice on difficult problems or if they needed to sort a problem with a sorcerer. Merlin was a good listener and his knowledge of the world around him was as extensive as Gaius's had been. Soon people came to regard him as the wisest man they had ever known.

These were the days when he felt at ease with the world and …..yet, there was the one scar that would never heal completely.

Every year he would journey to the Lake of Avalon on the anniversary of Arthur's death. He needed that time to reflect on what had been and he needed it to upkeep Arthur's memory in his heart. He felt closer to him when he was sitting on the banks of the lake like he had done on the morning after that fateful day so many years ago. There were so many things that had been left unsaid, so much that was never explained.

Sometimes he would meet Gwen at the lake. The Golden Age of Albion was in full flourish and Camelot was thriving under her reign. People loved and respected their queen who had brought them lasting peace and prosperity. But as years went on and Gwen found it more tedious to travel long distances, Merlin held his watch of honour on his own more often.

It was one of those days, maybe 15 years after the fatal event. Merlin was leaning against that familiar gnarly tree that had seen so many of his tears. He had been deeply in thought and as the sunshine had been warm and strong he had fallen asleep.

He was woken by a sharp stab into his ribs.

It took him only a split second to realize that the pain he felt was not a pigment of his imagination but more than real.

A sword had pierced from the back through his chest and before he passed out he instinctively knew that no weapon would cause him such excruciating pain unless it was forged by a dragon's breath.


	12. The king

**14. The king**

_Darkness. _

He heard voices in the far distant. Loud, agitated voices.

_Darkness. Cold. _

Voices again. Who was it? What were they saying?

_Darkness. Cold. Pain._

Burning, piercing pain spreading. Unbearable.

_Darkness. Cold. Pain. Confusion._

What was happening? '….Miracle …. still alive ..…dragon's breath ….. no chance'

Who were they talking about?

Then….. calm and light.

Merlin felt aware of himself out of a sudden again. The pain that had overpowered everything had subsided a little. His eyes still closed he tried to make sense of what had happened. He shifted to be more comfortable. Pain immediately engulfed his whole body. He groaned.

'Just stay still.' Merlin's heart, battered and pounded as it was, missed a beat….and another one. His brain tried to process what he had just heard.

'Merlin!' There it was again. It could not be. How ….?

'Merlin!' A strong hand gripped his shoulder firmly, but gently at the same time.

Merlin had forced his eyes open to make sure that he had not been fooled by his ears.

'Arthur?' he whispered questioningly.

He stared at Arthur with wide eyes needing a moment to take in what he saw.

'Arthur!' He repeated in complete shock and surprise, a bit louder this time.

The bright light that surrounded them almost blinded him, but it was definitely Arthur.

'Am I dead?' He asked in confusion.

'Not quite, old friend. But so far you have done a pretty good job of getting there.'

Merlin was not sure whether this was good or bad news.

'What is this?' gesturing at the brightness that enclosed them.

'You are the one with magic. Surely you can figure it out.' There was slight sarcasm in Arthur's voice and a slight smile was playing around his lips. Merlin could sense that he was trying to cheer him up.

'Magic.' Merlin felt it more consciously now. 'We are surrounded by magic?'

'It is what 's keeping you alive at the moment.'

When Arthur saw Merlin's confused expression he explained further.

Merlin had been found by a passing knight. The sword was still wedged in his chest and he was bleeding profusely. Recognising the sorcerer the knight had raised the alarm. When Niniane arrived there was not much life left in Merlin. The blade was close to his heart and its magical properties had quickly done their damage. She had tried to use her magic, but the power of the sword had been too strong.

Then Gwen and Gaius had reached the lake. At the age of ninety Gaius hardly travelled anymore, but nothing would have kept him in Camelot when the news had come. Gaius and Niniane had slowly removed the blade from Merlin's body. Whatever they tried though, the bleeding would not stop. Gaius had quickly come to the conclusion why: the sword was forged by a dragon's breath. They knew what that meant.

'All we can do now is make him comfortable.' He had comforted Niniane. Against their expectations Merlin had clung on to his life throughout that night and the following day.

In the meantime the word of Merlin's condition had spread. Sorcerers had started to arrive at the lake of Avalon from all over the kingdom. They started holding a vigil by his side and chanted healing spells. As they grew louder and more intense something miraculous happened. All the magic they procured seemed to bundle together into a giant luminous ball that finally descended on Merlin to cover him completely.

Merlin looked at Arthur in astonishment. 'How do you know all this?'

First he hesitated, but then he simply said: 'I am always here, just like the breeze. I see and hear everything.'

'You saw me coming here all those years?' His blue eyes darkened with sorrow.

Arthur just nodded as he could not speak. Seeing Merlin appear year upon year at the lake had been heart breaking to watch and he had yearned so much to be able to tell him that he was there and could see and hear him.

'Why are you here now?'

'For someone almost dead you are asking a lot of questions.' There it was again, the banter. Merlin's mood lightened and he smiled despite the pain that crippled him.

'You needed me.' Three words that meant so much.

Merlin grasped Arthur's arm. 'Arthur. There are some things that I never explained to you.'

Arthur sat down next to Merlin. 'More revelations?' There was a bit of teasing in his voice.

'I must …..tell you.' Merlin had thought about this for so long.

And then it all poured out of him:

Uther's death, Dragoon and Dolma, saving Gwen from Morgana's magical clutches, poisoning the witch for the sake of Camelot, Mordred ….. there was so much Arthur needed to understand. And now, Merlin could finally put all the facts before him.

The king was very quiet when Merlin had finished. 'You did all this…. for me.' The immensity of what Merlin had done and sacrificed was overwhelming.

'And yet I could not save you in the end.' Merlin went through the anguish of losing Arthur all over again. His body was shaking with physical and emotional distress.

'Merlin.' Arthur spoke very softly now. 'Stop… Please.'

'You cannot take the blame for something that was foretold for centuries.'

Merlin lifted his head: 'You know about the prophecy?'

'The Once and Future King' Arthur nodded. 'I was told'

'The sidh?' Merlin knew his answer was right.

They sat in silence for a few minutes each lost in thought. They both felt the intense strength of the bond between them, the love between brothers that they had shared since the first day they had met. They were two sides of the same coin and the thought uplifted and reassured them.

Finally Merlin spoke again.

'There is one more thing…'

Arthur looked at him in a rather amused way: 'How many more secrets can one man have?'

'The dragons….' Arthur's face dropped. And so Merlin told his tale of Kilgarrah and Aithusa.

'A dragonlord, indeed.' Arthur mumbled. There was respect and admiration in his eyes. Of course Merlin beating the dragon at the battle of Camlan suddenly made much more sense. 'You are a man of immense power, Merlin.' And he felt humbled that Merlin had chosen to be his servant and friend rather than his enemy.

Merlin smiled. He felt relief and a sense of satisfaction. Arthur knew everything now and there were no more secrets between them. How long had he waited for this moment!

'The sword that hurt me…..Aithusa must have forged it.' Merlin wondered, unable to find a different explanation.

At the thought of his wound Merlin became conscious of it again and winced.

'It is time for you to go now.' Arthur squeezed Merlin's arm affectionately.

'Go where?' Merlin was slightly alarmed. 'Could I stay … a little longer?'

Arthur was shaking his head. 'There are so many who love you and still need you out there.'

'I will be here when the time comes.' Merlin's voice sounded determined, but he realized that his promise might be only wishful thinking on his part.

'I am counting on it.' Arthurs said hoarsley.

They did not need any more words. Their embrace was heartfelt and honest.

'Remember the breeze and you'll know I am here.' were Arthur's last words before he disappeared into the light.

_Darkness_.

'There is possibly one thing that might save him.' Gaius did not sound too hopeful though.


	13. The Crystal Cave

**15. The Crystal Cave**

They all considered it a miracle that Merlin had held on to his life for that long. He was barely breathing and he was as pale as death. His brows were covered in an unhealthy sweat as if he had a bad fever, but his body felt stone cold. He had not returned to consciousness since the incident and the only sign of life he had shown were his eyes flickering ever so often.

The only thing that kept him alive, Gaius and Niniane were sure of it, was the magical sphere that surrounded him. Gaius had wrecked his all encompassing knowledge of things magical and non magical to find something, …..anything that would save Merlin. There had been nothing. But then at night-time Gaius suddenly remembered the time when Merlin had returned to the Crystal Cave after he had been stripped of his magic by Morgana. A glimmer of hope appeared in his heart.

They transferred Merlin gently onto a cart. It was about a days' journey to the Crystal Cave, but of course they could not ride very quickly. It was risky business moving Merlin at all and they accepted that the inevitable could happen any moment.

It took them two days to reach their destination.

Percival scooped Merlin up with his strong arms and gently placed him on a warm woollen blanket on the ground. Niniane covered him up. She had not left his side the last few days and her eyes were red for crying. She simply could not fathom how someone who had that much magic and was so powerful could now lie in front of her completely lifeless and broken. It was too much to bear. She was not sure how she would have fared if Gwen had not been there for her.

'What will we do now?' Niniane questioned Gaius.

'I can only take a guess, my dear.' Gaius patted her hand sympathetically. He was exhausted himself. He was not used to travelling on horse anymore and his age was getting to him. But the worry about Merlin had been the worst. That boy - Gaius secretly still referred to him like that - had suffered enough. Why would anyone want to harm him now after all those years?

'Let him rest for a little while first. We'll take him into the cave after that.' He said, acting by gut instinct.

They approached the antechamber of the central cave. Percival carried Merlin like a child in his arms. Gaius, Niniane and Gwen were following him slowly.

When they saw the glow of the crystals in the main chamber they stopped. Percival looked questioningly at Gaius.

'Put him down here.' he asked.

Percival gently lowered Merlin's body leaning him against a rock. A slight sigh escaped Merlin's mouth and his head fell onto his chest.

Alarmed Niniane whispered imploringly: 'Hold on, please, Merlin, hold on.'

'Let me help you!' A voice coming from behind out of the shadow of the cave startled them.

An old man stepped out into the dim light. His wavy white hair framed a long thin face. He looked serious, but his eyes were kind and understanding.

'I am Taliesen, the guardian of this cave,'

Gaius nodded. He remembered that the wise man had led Merlin to the Crystal Cave the first time knowing that the young sorcerer's future was foretold just as much as Arthur's.

When Taliesen put his hand on Merlin's chest. the magical sphere around Merlin disappeared.

'His human life force is all but gone.' He stated calmly. 'All his soul is clinging to is a ray of hope at the bottom of his heart.'

He paused looking at the crowd with sad eyes. 'This is not enough to restore him to life.' The old seer stopped again.

Niniane was quietly sobbing now holding on to Gwen who had tears streaming down her face. Gaius was shaking his head in disbelief while Percival tried to hide his pain by a dead pan expression on his face.

'It will need the life force of another to fully reinstate him. ' Taliesen said the words with a finality that hit them all. 'Magic alone cannot rekindle the flame of life when it was taken by a sword of such immense darkness.' A short pause.

'I will give my life for him.' Gaius and Ninaine had spoken almost in unison.

They gazed at each other, then Gaius spoke very quietly:

'No Niniane. I am a very old man. Death will come rather sooner than later. Your talent as healer is still needed for many years to come. Let me do this for him. Nothing will give me more pleasure than the knowledge that I could save the man I always regarded as my son.'

Niniane embraced the old man in complete anguish. 'Oh Gaius! I can't …' 'Of course, you can' Gaius gently brushed over her hair. 'You and Merlin, you belong together and there is so much more you have to do.' He kissed her forehead and got up. Gwen was also there hugging the old sorcerer. She knew better than to try to dissuade him. 'We will never forget you.' She whispered in his ear. 'Thank you for everything you have done.' Gaius squeezed her arm, clearly moved by her words. Then he and Taliesen lifted Merlin from the ground and carried him into the centre of the crystal cave.

Merlin had been vaguely aware of motion underneath him. At one point he had the feeling of being afloat. Ever so often he heard voices in the distant whispering incomprehensibly. A wall of darkness and pain seemed to block out everything else. Everything, apart from the tiny glimpse of promise that had settled in his heart since he had met Arthur. When he felt it he saw his face. And heard his voice 'I am counting on it, Merlin.' Arthur was expecting him to be there, one day. It was that tiny bit of hope that kept him alive.

Suddenly Merlin felt a surge of energy racing through his body. A pulsating force flooded every inch of his being. He had known this power once before. Slowly he opened his eyes. He was in the Crystal Cave, he understood that in an instance. The crystals were flickering and glowing in all the colours of the rainbow and radiated the most beautiful light. The air was filled with the vibration of raw magic and it saturated every fibre of his body, his heart and his mind. With every breath he took he absorbed the power that surrounded him and he started feeling whole again. The pain of his wound had all but gone and it had been replaced by strength and vigour.

Finally he was able to take in what was happening around him. There was Balinor on his right hand side holding his hand tightly. Freya was on his left. Alvar, the Kathar priest, stood straight in front and then, behind him he sensed the presence of Taliesen. There were others too, but he could just make out their body shapes in the distant. All those of magic, who were no more, and who had been touched by his kindness at one point were there. And he felt their love pouring into him.

'Father:' He murmured and Balinor lifted his head. 'My son.' There was satisfaction and pride in his eyes. 'You have come to find your destiny.'

Merlin sat up and when he did, all those present but Balinor faded away into the light of the cave swiftly. Their job was done now.

'My destiny?' Merlin said it, but at the same time he had not really needed to ask. He felt a clarity of mind that far transcended that of any normal man. With it came the knowledge that what had just happened was how it was supposed to be.

'You are and always will be.' Balinor repeated the words he had said so many years ago. But then Merlin had not been ready to comprehend what they really meant.

'You are magic itself and a man of many times and ages.'

Merlin saw his future lying ahead of him. Before, he had been unsure of it and not been willing to see. But now the ultimate power that flowed within him gave him strength and confidence and he accepted what was.

'Your magic and wisdom will shape the destiny of many men.' Balinor finished.

'Then this is what will be.' Merlin felt at ease with himself and the world.

'Thank you, father.'

As Merlin got to his feet he saw a man crouched on the floor not far away.

'Gaius!' He was at the old man's side in an instant. 'Why…?'

'He gave your life for you.' Balinor explained serenely.

'No.! Gaius!' Merlin bent down and lifted the old man's head towards him. Gaius barely managed to open his eyes. There was a content smile around his lips. 'So you live, my boy. That was all I wished for.' Merlin embraced the old man holding him tightly. 'Merlin….' Their eyes met. 'It was an honour… knowing you. I am so proud.' And then his voice broke and his last breath left him. Merlin wept. He held Gaius close to him until his tears subsided. Love and gratitude filled his heart. He took the old man and carried him out of the cave.

Cries of surprise greeted him everywhere. Niniane rushed up to him overwhelmed and elated. Gwen hugged him so tight he could barely breathe for a second. People were celebrating the miracle they were witness of. Merlin shared their joy and was touched by the love he felt everywhere.

He stood there in dignity and watched them. The quiet power emanating from him was felt by everyone and there was respect and awe in people's eyes. Merlin was fully aware that this was the beginning of yet another life, one that he had always been destined to lead. He was ready for it.

**The end**

* * *

**AND YET, not quite... Merlin still needs to find out who put that sword into his chest!**

**and then ...there is Arthur**

There will be two epilogues finishing this off completely.


	14. Ep 1 the witch

**Well, this turned out a little bit longer than expected. But it finishes off Merlin's story in this timeline.**

* * *

**Epilogues**

**1. The witch**

As he had promised Merlin looked for Aithusa after he had buried Morgana.

Whatever he had done, he could not find her. There were no sightings of a dragon anywhere in the kingdom. Of course he had tried to summon her as he knew she must follow the call of a dragonlord. However, she had not appeared and finally he had given up assuming her dead.

But then a sword forged on a dragon's breath had pierced his chest. Aithusa had to be somewhere out there and Merlin was intent that he would find her this time.

With his powers even more in tune with nature and all its creatures he called out for her in his dragonlord voice one more time and then listened.

Then he heard it – a soft cry coming from somewhere below. Merlin followed it for days, calling out for the dragon again and again. His journey led him to the northern territory and eventually he arrived at the tower Morgana had once resided in when she had been looking for the Dochraid to reveal the secret of Arthur's Bane to her.

'Aithusa!' Merlin called again. Now the cry was louder but it seemed to come from directly below him. The tunnels below the castle! Magic showed him the way ahead and soon he stood in front of a huge pile of rubble. Some tunnels had obviously caved in at one point and completely blocked the lower section of the maze underneath. Merlin muttered a spell and with a wipe of his hand removed stones and earth, rocks and mud. Despite the magic it took him quite a while.

Finally the way ahead was clear. 'Aithusa.' He called softly so he would not frighten her away. He felt her breath before he saw her. Then she appeared. She looked even sorrier than the last time he had seen her. She must have been caught deep below for quite a while. Her paper-thin skin was shining blue and she was dragging her broken wings behind her.

'You will not harm her!'

Merlin swung round. Morgana! His mind was spinning.

She laughed at the stunned expression on his face.

'You did not expect this, Emrys.' She sounded pleased.

'The Cailleach likes to deal. For a promise of five souls she agreed to let me return to the living world once more to have my revenge.'

Merlin still had not spoken. He wanted to hear what she had to say first.

'It was easy to find my Aithusa. I knew she would return to a place where we had been happy. I found her in the tunnel below and forged another sword. But the power of her fire was so great that the tunnel started caving in and she was buried below. I am but a spirit and there was nothing I could do.'

'And the sword?' Merlin asked.

'It was easy enough to persuade a bandit to find you. Your journey to the lake of Avalon is well documented in the kingdom.'

Morgana's spirit gave Merlin a suspicious look. 'He did find you, I heard?' The questioning tone implied that she could not understand why he was here now when the blade of the sword should have been his death.

Merlin could not help feeling sorry for her. She did not realize that she had not only failed in her revenge, but that she had helped him to find his destiny and make him the most powerful sorcerer that had ever walked the earth.

'Morgana.' He said quiety and he then chose to tell her what had happened in the Crystal Cave. She was crying again. It was beyond her comprehension why Merlin always ended up victorious. He had even turned death into a virtue.

'Magic was always intended for the good.' Merlin tried to explain.

He saw her desperation and against better judgement was moved by her plight.

'Let me help you' he said.

First she shook her head. 'Help her first' she pointed at Aithusa, again showing in a glimpse that she might not be totally lost.

Merlin went up to Aithusa. 'Come' he coaxed her in his dragonlord tongue. He then put his hand on her wings and the spell that followed mended them bit by bit. Her faded skin started glowing white and her head fleshed out to look a little bit more like Kilgarrah's. She looked at herself in surprise and started flapping her wings excitedly.

'Oh, careful.' Merlin smiled. Then he put his hand onto her throat, closed his eyes and muttered another spell. Aithusa recoiled from his hand and said: 'Ouch. That stings….!'

Both Morgana and Merlin were moved to tears when they heard her speak again.

Morgana looked at Merlin for a long time, pondering what to do.

'Thank you.' She stammered eventually. 'She looks so happy now.'

'Let me help you.' Merlin repeated.

'What will you ….do? Morgana was unsure but he could see that she was tempted. Aithusa had encouraged the remains of her nicer side out into the open.

'Just come and see.' Merlin put his hands onto her lofty forehead. As soon as he felt the cool skin of her ghostly form touch his palm he put her into a trance. And then he showed her how much she had been loved.

By Uther who despite his failings had always deeply loved his daughter.

By Arthur who had long refused to believe that Morgana would do anything evil and was destroyed when it had happened.

By Gwen who had been a loyal friend for so long and who she had punished for simply being Arthur's love.

By Gaius who had been trying to protect her from her own fate out of worry for her.

By himself who had done all he could to help her understand who she was without tempting his own fate.

He showed her the grief everyone felt when she had almost died after her fall down the staircase. He showed her the reasons for it and that it was him who had saved her as he could not bear to see her die.

He removed his hand at the end. Morgan was still. She was pale even for a ghost.

'I misjudged you. I misjudged you all.'

'We all made mistakes. Morgana.' Merlin admitted. 'But there was a lot of love.'

Morgana lifted her head very slowly.

'Yes. I can see that now.' She hesitated. 'Could I have been saved?' Her voice was trembling.

'You can be saved now.' Merlin voice was steady and sure and full of compassion.

Morgana met his gaze and then, it came: 'I am sorry for all the pain I have caused.'

And as she said it the anger and the hate she had felt for so long evaporated. She finally was at peace. 'Thank you.' She whispered as her spirit dispersed into the cold night air of the northern territory.

* * *

**And then the final part. The one all of us Merlin fans were craving for. This one is really short as promised!**


	15. Ep 2 The prophecy

**2. The prophecy**

It was a beautiful sunny summer morning. There was not one cloud in the sky and the birds were singing happily. The breeze around the lake was mild and gentle. Nobody looking at this peaceful scene would have believed how serious the state of affairs in this world were.

Polticians were at each other's throats. Discussion had slowly ceased to exist and was replaced by threats. None of the parties would budge over their points of view. There was hate and mistrust everywhere. Weapons had been built and bought by all sides. It was only a matter of time before the first violent attack, everybody agreed on that. But people also knew that these were weapons that nobody could afford to use – they were so destructive that nothing in this land, nothing at all would be left if they were let loose.

But it only needed a small incident to light the fuse.

There were two young men walking along the shores of the lake. One was blond and rather muscular. He was clearly the sporty type: well trained and enjoying the exercise. The other one was dark and gangly, but handsome nonetheless. He was taller than his friend and really skinny. They were having an animated conversation.

Even someone completely unobservant would have noticed the familiarity between them and how easy they felt in each other's company. Those who looked closer saw trust and respect between them. Maybe one or two sensitive souls might have even spotted a certain tenderness in the way they were treating each other.

The blonde one laughed and punched the other man's arm. 'Ouch. That was sore.' his friend complained but his eyes were smiling when he said it. 'Don't be such a girl, Merlin.' Arthur grinned.

The look they exchanged was one of deep understanding. They shared the sorrows of the past and even treasured them as part of who they were. But they had waited for this moment for a very long time and the joy of being together again was stronger than any regrets they might have had. They felt complete again as if a missing half had been returned to their being.

The task ahead was a difficult one, but they were full of the promise of what was to come. The peace of this world was at stake and it was up to them to shape its fate.

**The prophecy had foretold that this would happen and... the prophets never lie.**

* * *

**So this is it. THE END. **

**Thanks to all of you who have made it that far! :) Thanks to all of you who left me kind remarks as I went along! It helps a lot.**

**I wrote this as part of my bereavement managment after 5.13. :)**

**Now that the story is finished I would love to hear your opinion.**

**Any comment is encouraged and well appreciated! **

**THANK YOU!**

**Please note that I cannot reply to any GUESTS' comments. So I would like to thank all those guests who left a review here!**


End file.
